27th March
Unbelievable! Hayley Parfitt and
myself go to the beach for a Vimto and a bun and it appears the good people of
Palm Beach don't want us back! FFS we've only been here a day and they’ve
raised the drawbridge back to town!
28th March
Just smacked my shin on the corner of the bed and it bloody
hurt! Turned around and my wife of over 25 years Hayley Parfitt was
pissing herself laughing. So harsh. Head is glowing like freaking crazy...white
skin..red hair.. hot sun = sunburn.. I should know better. Can see my bonce
from the International Space Station I reckon. What a dick!
3oth March
We've just found an Aldi!! Hayley Parfitt is
soooo pleased LOL!!!!!Thunder but the beer is cold. Hayley Parfitt is on
the cocktails... Knew she wouldn't last xx Just heard the mother of all thunder
claps!! Sounded like a bomb going off... Floor in the apartment shook. Holy
shit!
31st March
Morning world from a thundery Florida. Not much sleep last
night. Stormy to say the least. Today is the first of 5 days work for Hayley Parfitt and me.
It's 7.30am and I am ready to rock.
1st April
Morning world! 7am here in not so sunny Florida. BTW If you
think daytime telly in UK is bad, you wanna see this crap over here. Lots of
loud middle aged people pretending they're in their teens with every other word
being 'fantastic'. Even the newsreaders call everyone 'dorg' and have belts for
skirts..and that's just the blokes! To be blunt, it's fucking rubbish.
But hey, there's a smiley face anyhow
Did I just say 'anyhow'? Oh no it's starting!
But hey, there's a smiley face anyhow
Did I just say 'anyhow'? Oh no it's starting!
2nd April
Morning folks. 9.45am in a very sunny Florida. Busy today,
no rest for the wicked I guess. Nice and hot now, and Hayley Parfitt is
looking nicely brown. Did not think you could improve on perfection but she's
looking good x On the other side of the coin is the matchstick lookalike
walking with her...life is ssoooo unfair.... See you later my lovelies...One
rogue wasp in the district and guess whose eyeball it decides to insert its
sting in? Nasty and painful unlike the wasp who is a nasty little ******! To be
more precise it was a nasty little ******! It is now an ex-wasp...
Just before I start glugging a cool Newcastle Brown, I was
thinking about yesterday when some Herbert tried to flog me a $200 bottle of
skin cream for Hayley Parfitt. They
had obviously never met me. I told him 'that's my spends for the hols!' Besides
the fact that her skin is like porcelain, who pays $200 for face cream? That's
£140 FFS...Whose face is that messed up they need to spend $200 on cream? You
could get 30 bags of ready mix plaster and do the fucking job properly!!!!
Have a good evening...
Have a good evening...
3rd April
Morning folks. 8.30am here. I have to write quietly as Hayley Parfitt is
sleeping. My keyboard clicks might give it away though. We got asked the other
day which food Welsh people eat? Thinking back I should have said bloodied
corpses of dragons but I'm not that quick. Apparently we've all got ginger hair
and spit a lot. Now I know a couple of girls like that, but as I told the
individual involved, we are a truly loveable artistic and musical people who
emit starlit pearls of goodness with every breath. This seemed confusing to
her? Tomorrows stupid question will probably 'Do you live next to the queen?'.
Speak to you all later.
Just found a dollar shop. Went mad, spent $3... It's only
money. Mad I am
A little bit pissed off TBH. Just heard Booker T and the MGs
'Green Onions' playing in an advert. That's my 'One for the Road' theme tune.
I'm going to ring my USA lawyer Hiram L Getzyouashitloadofmoney to sort this
out methinks. Cheeky sods
4th April
Morning folks. 8am here and all is well. Had a big day
yesterday with the Goddess Hayley Parfitt.
Found Guinness, Aldi, The Dollar Shop and the most relaxing drive on mainland
USA. It's the 14 miles between Palm and Delray Beach on Ocean Drive (A1A). 30
minutes of 35mph with no dickheads or horns with lakes on one side and the
Atlantic on the other. Last night I was that chilled I pooped ice cubes!
The adverts for medicines are cob over here. They tell you about a great product and then spend the best part of a minute telling you about side effects and why you should never take it. LOL
On a more serious note, in the Sculpture Park we found the bronze sculpture in the first photo below. It's Franklin Roosevelt and Sir Winston Churchill (who's smoking a cigar although the park clearly said no smoking). Just think, in a few months these two could be replaced by Donald Trump and David Cameron!!
A sobering thought that could send you to drink. I'm going to cash in my chips, kiss my wife as much as I can and tell the kids I love them before the shit hits the fan
The adverts for medicines are cob over here. They tell you about a great product and then spend the best part of a minute telling you about side effects and why you should never take it. LOL
On a more serious note, in the Sculpture Park we found the bronze sculpture in the first photo below. It's Franklin Roosevelt and Sir Winston Churchill (who's smoking a cigar although the park clearly said no smoking). Just think, in a few months these two could be replaced by Donald Trump and David Cameron!!
A sobering thought that could send you to drink. I'm going to cash in my chips, kiss my wife as much as I can and tell the kids I love them before the shit hits the fan
5th April
Although I have had a few gentle prods at our US cousins' expense,
Palm Beach and the surrounding area is beautiful. This has to be one of my
favourite places.
It has been tremendous and I would recommend it to anybody without hesitation. In fact, if we could afford it we would look at a place here I think. I would for sure. The US customer service is outstanding; different class.
One thing to note is that all meals and drinks are complimentary on Delta airlines. This saves you quite a decent amount of money as well. It surprised us both.
It has been tremendous and I would recommend it to anybody without hesitation. In fact, if we could afford it we would look at a place here I think. I would for sure. The US customer service is outstanding; different class.
One thing to note is that all meals and drinks are complimentary on Delta airlines. This saves you quite a decent amount of money as well. It surprised us both.
Hayley Parfitt
and I seem to having brekky in the middle of the Delray Beach WI committee
meeting!
FYI- we are just going through the financials and then it's AOB.
Apparently I'm making the pot pourri.
FYI- we are just going through the financials and then it's AOB.
Apparently I'm making the pot pourri.
Morning folks.
April 7th
Sorry to be leaving here tonight in all honesty it's been a
blast. Hayley Parfitt exhibiting
her artwork was the reason for the trip and that was more successful than
either of us probably expected. This is the A1 best part of it all.
Despite 17 separate injuries to myself (yes we counted), from slapping my shin repeatedly on the bed from hell to falling off a ladder,and being on the run like Bonnie and Clyde after my parking crime, we would recommend this place to anyone.
Beaches everywhere good nightlife and locals who are friendly and helpful. If you fancy Florida but don't want the rat run of Orlando then this is perfect. Second only to Western Australia (Paula Annesley) in my list of fave places I've visited.
Despite 17 separate injuries to myself (yes we counted), from slapping my shin repeatedly on the bed from hell to falling off a ladder,and being on the run like Bonnie and Clyde after my parking crime, we would recommend this place to anyone.
Beaches everywhere good nightlife and locals who are friendly and helpful. If you fancy Florida but don't want the rat run of Orlando then this is perfect. Second only to Western Australia (Paula Annesley) in my list of fave places I've visited.
Hayley
Parfitt getting iffy with me, merely because I lost the grip between left
and right. Katrina the sat nav girl sent us the wrong way to return the hire car
and I then went right instead of left, so her fault?
This resulted in a long game of ring a roses as we toured every car park in the bloody airport. All my beloved wife could say was 'if you'd gave gone left as the policeman told you we would have been fine'
Hmmmm....
She could have a point....
Xx Babe
This resulted in a long game of ring a roses as we toured every car park in the bloody airport. All my beloved wife could say was 'if you'd gave gone left as the policeman told you we would have been fine'
Hmmmm....
She could have a point....
Xx Babe
